Well where do  start? There’s been a lot going on …

First of all with the Recession & everything my plans for funding and getting this to come together full-time have fallen flat so I’ve gone back to the day job (which isn’t at all bad as day-jobs go) & got a kind of a promotion in with the bargain, hence securing my ability to further invest in the music side of things - Nice! So it’s not all bad

Second I’ve been back in the studio … You’ll hear some new tracks recorded with a mate on my myspace site (www.myspace.com/benitajohnson) … but the main work I’m doing at the moment is on an album. It’s proved to be a tricky process - it’s fair to say I do everything the hard way! But we’re making progress and it’s sounding good. initial estimates were that I’d be done by Christmas - right now though, I’m not thinking about a deadline. I don’t think that’s helpful.

And gigs - yes, now there’s a story! I’ve been doing a fair few of these - and some of them unplanned, which is always nice as I really miss it if I don’t have any to do for a while… And, do you know! I was verbally assaulted at one last week! shock horror! I was playing (musicians take note) at the New Inn, St Owens Cross, Hereford and a) they weren’t really sure what they were doing with the whole live music deal b) the locals weren’t prepared for such as me it seems! I was basically told I couldn’t sing for shit, they didn’t want me there and I should just fall off the planet and die!!! … lovely. I had a few choice words of my own to give out …. I did the gig and I got paid but it made me a bit mad… But I guess it was a reality check too - just shows that i’ve got very comfortable with my usual haunts …

Played a couple of gigs in Bath this week too. One at the Porter Cellar Bar I really enjoyed, so I hope they have me back …

And writing - loads of this going on feeling especially inspired at the moment … though I think it’s gonna cost me !! x

Thanks to you folks for checking in and reading my waffle. Please feel free to Comment - it’s a more reliable way of contacting me at the moment as my site email is full of spam!

x Bj

“kiss me gently into morning for the night has been unkind. … take me somewhere that’s so holy I can wash this from my mind…. “

It’s not word for word but I only heard it once - a lyric from a Sarah MacLachlan song, I think is called “Answer”. Stuck in my head - it’s so beautiful, and so completely summed up what I felt when I heard it.

People are capable of some beautiful, brilliant and unspeakable things. And it’s all the same people.

People are crazy, frustrating, vulnerable, incredible, inspiring, terrible and fantastically flawed. And they are all doing what they can to survive - the only way they know how. For that, you must forgive them. And some of them we are bound to love.

There is no magic, no gene, no sign that makes anyone any more or less holy than anyone else. We can cross the lines at any time. Blur them, re-draw them any way we want to. . .  

Still … sometimes I have to wonder …  

Sometimes the night is too unkind.

I’ve been re-writing my bio today - or trying to. Trying to explain some of the gaps, the background, the scenery, the stuff I think probably no-one really gives a damn about. Although increasingly, when I’m submitting work to people, strikes me they at least want to know some of it. Something that makes you interesting. (And what is THAT exactly?). Well I know ‘interesting’ when I see it … for sure… but I’ve got no idea what it is in relation to myself. (This might be as well - or how big would my head be?!).

Interesting to me is something you just can’t put your finger on - something hypnotic, elusive and impossible to describe. . . So I guess we’ll just be sticking with the standard bio then!!

But if someone should decide that my music is interesting - then I’d consider it a job well done.

As for me - I’m going to find my holy place … … or at least somewhere I can put my head on ice!

x Bj

Next gig 27th June at the Thunderbolt, Totterdown, Bristol. (tbc)  

On the subject of gigs, I recently played The Olde Bath Arms in Frome. It turned out to be a really rewarding night and I hope they ask me back sometime … If you’re ever out that way, it’s well worth checking out on a Thursday night as they have a collection of singer-songwriter types playing and it’s a gorgeous place - with excellent food! (although, if you’re veggie, I hope you like artichokes!).

I’ve also been doing some rock-duo work with a friend of mine  (we call ourselves Label 5 - it’s a long story, and you’d have to have been there) … so we debuted at Alfie Kingston’s Acoustic Afternoon last Sundayat the 7 Stars pub in Redcliffe, Bristol … we went down really well so we’ll probably try to do more of the same over the summer… so if you see LABEL 5 entered on the gigs calendar that’s what I mean…

That’s all for now - fingers crossed for the 27th! If anyone’s stopping by the Thunderbolt any time soon, maybe chivvy them up for me?? Much appreciated xx

This blogging thing is quite a stretch for someone who doesn’t really say one hell of a lot. Which shouldn’t be confused with not having anything to say. Far from it! Want to know what I think? - What I feel? My songs should tell you that - all you need to know anyway. But since I HAVE a blog, I guess I oughtta use it … :) 

So I was recording Wednesday, did this open mic last night and a gig tonight on a boat - not my first time (that was another boat - the Thekla, a few years ago for Ladyfest) … I had spent the day surrounded by two-dimensional people and swiping at some phantoms from my past … it just got too hard to smile. Nobody likes that. People like people to be happy, and mellow and reasonable. Any display of true emotion, or frustration or (God forbid) anger is liable to get you hurriedly swept away by some giant social-cleansing dustpan. . . Days like this make it ever clearer to me how important music is in my life - and not just the gigs but everything that goes with it - especially the people.

I like genuine, real, multi-dimensional people. I might not like them very much - or I might not like what they stand for. But it’s not against the law to state preference and it’s a free country. But I respect their honesty, their conviction, their ability to stand true. I can’t stand anyone who just isn’t who they are. And I really find it hard to understand anyone who makes too many compromises … it’s fair to say, I probably didn’t like myself for a while there then! These last couple of nights, I have spent amongst some solid crystal characters. (not just the artists). You can’t fold them into the cartoon-strip of your daily grind and expect them to follow the script. I guess that’s something Music does for people - and not just the people who make it. A captivating tune, a lyric, a sound that grabs at your soul can take you anywhere you want to go. You can’t put a price on that!

I had a conversation with a guy recently who was trying to tell me how fortunate people like me are that we have this means of expression, this gift, this outlet … it was cringeable stuff, but he didn’t have to tell me, I know. Of course, he’s right - though it comes at a price, I think. Not that you’ll hear me complaining!! I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am certain that the same can be said for the folks I’ve shared the stage with recently… Check out Catherine & The Owl at www.catherineandtheowl.com Also Google “Amelia Tucker” and “The Funkinsteins”. And go to www.myspace.com/jackbirdjackbirdjackbird and last, but not least, go to Rita Lynch.com . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

There is so much out there! Get out of your box and start listening!

Bj

Wrote this this week. Don’t know what I’d call this one - any ideas anyone? I thought “My Old Addiction” but that’s been done already …

XX bj

As requested, here’s the latest: I’m sifting through what I’ve put down for the recording so far and priming myself to be brutal about it … A couple of the original songs probably won’t make the cut - luckily i have a few more up my sleeve :)  I’ve done this, following a bit of a break, which has helped me get perspective, I think.

I wasn’t prepared for what a tedious business this recording thing is - when you do it properly. I’ve had a false start at doing an album before - I learned there that it is possible to lose control of something by taking too much (apologies to the bemused folk who got swept up in that) … lol … Apart from that I’m just used to traipsing into a mates studio somewhere, rattling through some songs - badda bing - badda bam - and there you have it! This is not the case anymore. Now I have to do it like a grown-up (sigh).

Also - though there’s nothing wrong with ambition, (in my humble opinion x) - I have to accept it’s important to be realistic - at this stage anyhoo. Lets save the exhibitionism until the day Warner Bros foot the bill! I very much want something I can take on the road when I’m done, and (alas) I can’t fit a Wurlitzer in the back of the Mondeo!

That said, tedious or not, it’s all worthwhile when all of a sudden, as I’m sitting there chewing my nails & practising facial contortions, I stumble across some shimmering gem of a sound - and I get chills for the rest of the day… There’s a few of those it’ll be interesting to see if you can spot them when it’s done!

But I can’t take all the credit … I’m working with some fab people on this, and I thank them now (as I will continue to do) for their talent & patience.

xxx Bj

Yes, I’m in the process of putting an album together - it promises to be bolder and better than anything I’ve done before. Unfortunately a project like this takes time to complete - not to mention money. And I don’t want to cut too many corners with this one. As much as anything it’s a learning curve - a lesson in how to get it right. And as I don’t have a label behind me (fools!) to pay for it all up front so I can just crack on and DO it, there are bound to be delays … hmph! Of course I AM the most patient & casual person you’ll ever meet, so this is no problem for me at all!!!!!!

Currently I am working with my good friend, super-talented guitarist, arranger & producer Sally Wyatt and with the guys at Audio Shelter in Bristol. The basics of the main tracks have been put down. I’ve layered vocals & arranged some harmonies for everything so far. I have the instrumentation in place for the first track - barring the drums - and am currently working on the instrumentation for the second track. It’s quite a bitty process because the tracks produce themselves to some extent, and the things I thought would work & which sounded good in my head suddenly sometimes don’t work out in practise, or my attempts at communicating this to the good folks I’m working with are flawed! As things stand at the moment I don’t normally play with a backing band so for me it’s not as simple as just taking the band into the studio and getting everybody’s part down. My hope is that once the work is done on the album, I will find myself with a set of musicians who I can continue to work with in a live setting as well as in the studio, for all my future projects … Because in case you didn’t notice, I’m in this for the long haul!

I started the album off in the studio in February, worked with Sally on arrangements through March and now April’s here - I intend to get back in the studio fairly soon to polish off one or two tracks. Obviously the studio can’t wait around for me to be ready so I’ll need to book in between their other engagements - this is frustrating as the natural flow of the recording process gets interrupted, but patience is a virtue … Money of course is key and I’m hoping the good people at the bank will lend me a quid or two SOON :)  … I’m good for it …

So in answer to your question it’s still early days, but it will be worth the wait! Rome wasn’t built in a day y’know …      xx

OK. I lied about the “interactive” bit - but it IS an interview. And YOU call the shots … so, I got your attention anyway - right? Well, here’s how it works : You comment back to this Blog entry with any question - ANY question at all - that you want to ask … and I PROMISE to answer you, right here in the Blog. Well?

A few people have asked where the Mayors Arms is as there’s more than one Clarence Rd in Bristol. You can view a Google-Map on the gigs page. But roughly speaking, it’s along by the river on the opposite side from York Rd at the Redcliff Hill end … hopefully see you there!

Ever have one of those days where you wake up and think : oh my god! where’ve I been all this time? - it’s like you’ve been in a dream, barely aware of it, unconsciously desperately trying to punch & kick your way to the surface and WAKE UP! … ? … well I had one of those days not so very long ago & I don’t mind telling you it scared the hell out of me.

I was really ill at the time - not critically, you understand - just got knocked on my back by full-on flu 4 times in as many months!! Sort of makes you reflect on your situation … So in my fluey delirium (which was actually really blissful at times!) I realised I had done what I’d always said I would NEVER EVER NOT ON YOUR LIFE do. I’d put Music 2nd place and sold my soul to The Man.

Now, this was not all bad, because it meant I had some financial stability and didn’t have to doss on peoples sofas anymore. But I was so sodding tired & stressed & frustrated at the world, that I had nothing else to give and none of the essential passion with which to give it. Ring any bells for anyone?

So time sort of slipped by, and then I woke up. Whatever alien creature it was that had inhabited my body and walked and talked for me all this time had finally left and I was left with one thought : WHAT NOW?

This website - that’s what! Not to mention the 250 or so songs I’ve written over the last decade and never properly recorded!! You think that’s a stretch? Well, we’ll see … Folks I want to thank you for finding me here in my Second Life. Feel free to get in touch - it’s good to talk … the gigs should pick up soon and hopefully I’ll see you at one! My back catalogue of songs is available here to download and, as with anything, if you experience any difficulty with this, or simply feel the need to comment then just holler!

Here’s to new beginnings …